Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby (English)
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Silly old bear. If the harbinger of spring is the sound of a bat on a ball, then I have become the harbinger of winter: a barren and desolate spot that your bat will never hit. As my ball strikes the padded glove with the disgruntled furl of thirty thousand fans trudging out of the arena, watching as you throw down your bat in disgust and mourn what you'll never be, know this: you will NEVER defeat me, Pooh Bear. Not as long as you or I will live. They will never tell stories of your greatness or herald you as the second coming of Pitch Hittus.
There are 108 stitches in every ball, Pooh Bear. How many do you think I
can get on your face? Hahaha... Silly old bear... Silly old bear...
There are 108 stitches in every ball, Pooh Bear. How many do you think I
can get on your face? Hahaha... Silly old bear... Silly old bear...
- Addeddate
- 2020-11-20 02:02:05
- Emulator
- ruffle-swf
- Emulator_ext
- swf
- Identifier
- homerunderby_en
- Scanner
- Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4
- Year
- 2008
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Reviews
Reviewer:
cittykat311
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
April 10, 2022
Subject: oh the memories
Subject: oh the memories
You're walking home late one night when a white moving van pulls up next to you, asking for directions to a gas station. You see a stuffed bear on the dashboard and decide it is safe to engage with this stranger. Wrong. Next thing you know, you wake up on a lumpy, threadbare couch in a half finished basement, wearing only a red shirt and yellow pants. The basement is sparsely furnished, with an IKEA desk, a desk chair with only 3 functional wheels, and a computer that looks like it runs on Windows XP. You also notice some built in shelves, decorated with a plethora of glass jars of all sizes. At first glance you assume they are candles. Upon further examination you realize they are all filled with honey. As you begin to question who or what brought you to this place, you hear footsteps coming down the stairs and see a pair of red sneakers begin to descend.
"What am I doing here?!" you cry. "Let me go home!"
"All in due time, my friend," the man says.
There's a stain on his yellow shirt that looks like jam. "All that's needed for you to leave this place is to simply win a computer game designed for children."
'Amazing!' you think. You play computer games daily. This will be a breeze. The man leads you to the old desktop and gestures for you to have a seat on the chair. You struggle slightly as you roll it to the desk. The man turns on the monitor, and you see a game called 'Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby' pulled up on the screen. The instructions seem easy enough and you begin to play. You take 15 minutes to pass the first level, but chalk it up to using a mouse. You normally use a laptop touchpad.
"Having fun?" the man asks. "Only 7 more levels to go until you're free."
You beat level two, but it takes 45 minutes, and you begin to sweat. The game is more difficult than you predicted. The man walks over to the shelves and grabs a jar of honey. He sits down on the couch, watching you play. He claps and grins if you make a home run. He boos and says nasty things after a strike.
"This game is impossible," you tell him.
"Nothing is impossible," he says, "I do nothing every day."
He opens the jar of honey and begins to eat it with his hands. After the first jar is gone, along with what is left of your optimism of ever escaping, he grabs a second jar, returning to the couch. He begins humming 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' just loud enough for you to hear it.
"Not as brave as you believed, huh? Not as strong as you seemed either. Definitely not as smart as you thought you were, are you?"
He stares at you unblinkingly, as he eats the second jar of honey only with his mouth.
"What am I doing here?!" you cry. "Let me go home!"
"All in due time, my friend," the man says.
There's a stain on his yellow shirt that looks like jam. "All that's needed for you to leave this place is to simply win a computer game designed for children."
'Amazing!' you think. You play computer games daily. This will be a breeze. The man leads you to the old desktop and gestures for you to have a seat on the chair. You struggle slightly as you roll it to the desk. The man turns on the monitor, and you see a game called 'Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby' pulled up on the screen. The instructions seem easy enough and you begin to play. You take 15 minutes to pass the first level, but chalk it up to using a mouse. You normally use a laptop touchpad.
"Having fun?" the man asks. "Only 7 more levels to go until you're free."
You beat level two, but it takes 45 minutes, and you begin to sweat. The game is more difficult than you predicted. The man walks over to the shelves and grabs a jar of honey. He sits down on the couch, watching you play. He claps and grins if you make a home run. He boos and says nasty things after a strike.
"This game is impossible," you tell him.
"Nothing is impossible," he says, "I do nothing every day."
He opens the jar of honey and begins to eat it with his hands. After the first jar is gone, along with what is left of your optimism of ever escaping, he grabs a second jar, returning to the couch. He begins humming 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' just loud enough for you to hear it.
"Not as brave as you believed, huh? Not as strong as you seemed either. Definitely not as smart as you thought you were, are you?"
He stares at you unblinkingly, as he eats the second jar of honey only with his mouth.
Reviewer:
Adhesive Azm
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
March 24, 2022
Subject: My reviw
Subject: My reviw
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Reviewer:
ChristopherRobinHasRuinedMyLife
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
March 23, 2022
Subject: Its time I tell my story
Subject: Its time I tell my story
Paranoia, Insomnia, Sharp Pelvic Pain. These are just three of the curses I have developed due to playing this game. At first, I was having fun playing a fun game containing my favorite characters from the Winnie the Pooh series. Then, I met my first challenge… Owl. My many battles against Owl can be described by only one word. That word is Agony. After nearly 18 straight hours playing, surviving barely off Apple Juice and Cheetos, I thought I had overcome the worst this game could offer… it seems I was wrong. Tigger was a breeze, then came Satan, Cthulhu, Hades, Hell, whatever you may call him, Christopher Robin. I hit only one home run in my first outing with Christopher, and that was the point where my life began spiraling out of control. I tried going to sleep but it was impossible. Christophers' soulless eyes haunted my own upon closing my eyes. I sought out less than legitimate medication via the local cartel, and the coke seemed to help at first. Coke was my track to return to a regular life, as ironic as it may seem. Everything was great for about a year or so until one fateful day when I happened to stumble upon an MLB game on my TV. The images immediately rushed back into my head. I rushed to cure my illness with the special sugar, but, to my chagrin, I had run out. I took initiative and got into my car to try to drive and obtain some more “medicine”. Driving was quite an arduous task, but I was managing until I noticed a bird in the corner of my eye. This wasn't just any bird, but a Brown Owl. Flashbacks flooded my mind. I was blinded. At that point, I realized that I had no escape from the horrors I was facing. I crashed. I nearly died. Major Spinal damage, 67 broken bones, 4 tendons snapped, and both shoulders dislocated. I was put in a coma for the past 13 years. When I caught word that Adobe Flash Player was being terminated, I was relieved. I had finally escaped from my fears, demons, and other hardships. A fresh beginning in my newfound life. That is until I stumbled upon the Internet Archive and my worst fear was realized. Christopher Robin still lives and will live for all of eternity.
Reviewer:
Andrew Beasley
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
March 9, 2022
Subject: I'm going to Crucify Christopher Robin
Subject: I'm going to Crucify Christopher Robin
F*ck this game. Chris I'm coming for you. make sure to keep one eye open when you sleep. I'm under your bed waiting to inject your brain with cement and cyanide.
Reviewer:
Buffymidgey
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
January 31, 2022
Subject: hopelessness desperation distress anguish pain unhappiness dejection depression despondency disconsolateness gloom melancholy melancholia misery wretchedness disheartenment discouragement resignedness forlornness defeatism
Subject: hopelessness desperation distress anguish pain unhappiness dejection depression despondency disconsolateness gloom melancholy melancholia misery wretchedness disheartenment discouragement resignedness forlornness defeatism
kanga and roo are cyber terrorists. please remove from game.
:hello world
:if {true}; then (kanga + roo) = purged
this game has room for improvement. 0 stars
:hello world
:if {true}; then (kanga + roo) = purged
this game has room for improvement. 0 stars
Reviewer:
Pastasaladd
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
January 25, 2022
Subject: Anger
Subject: Anger
This game made me want to curb stomp piglet and all of his annoying friends.
Reviewer:
Owl the Resurrected
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favorite -
January 25, 2022
Subject: Will0Wisp0
Subject: Will0Wisp0
You may have beaten me once, but I am Owl the Resurrected, I will never die. I took your wife, did you know that she's pregnant now? I am the father of her son, you were so weak that you failed to ever give her a child, but I, being Owl the Resurrected, I am the all powerful overbearing being. I never forgive, and I never forget, you will feel my vengeance one day, mark my words.
Winnie the Pooh is really good at playing baseball though
Winnie the Pooh is really good at playing baseball though
Reviewer:
WillOwisp0
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
December 27, 2021
Subject: Owl F'd My Wife
Subject: Owl F'd My Wife
When I started playing this game, I thought I was just getting into an everyday normal game that was just extremely difficult. That was where I was oh so wrong. At first everything was normal, Eeyore was throwing balls, Piglet was spiking them, even kangaroo bouncing them felt normal. I was spending time with my good friends from the hundred acre wood and life was good. We plaid baseball, we laughed, we cried, and we shared heartfelt moments. Then Owl came. At first I was confused... "why does Owl have psychic powers?" I asked myself. "How does he make the ball move like that?" I didn't know, but I would soon find out. That fateful night, after I encountered Owl for the first time and lost to him about 69 times, something horrible happened. As I lay down to sleep in my bed and began to close my eyes I thought I heard something... Oh so faintly I swear I could hear someone say (in Owl's voice) "I'll see you again tomorrow". I sat up with a jolt, a cold sweat rolling across my brow. I turned towards my wife and shook her awake. "Did you just hear that?" I asked. She groggily shook her head and rolled away from me angrily. I figured my brain must have played a trick on me as I lay back down and fell back to sleep. The next day as I was getting up and getting ready for my day I noticed that my computer screen was on. I could've sworn that I'd turned it off last night. I walked over to my computer and noticed that I must have left Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby on the previous night, as I still was sitting on the skills screen. The weird thing I noticed though, was that there was a feather that looked oddly like that of a cartoon Owl, sitting next to my computer. I picked it up and looked at it inquisitively, but ultimately discarded it as I decided it must have just been some trinket my wife had bought at some point. That was one of my many mistakes. I decided as my day started, to play a bit more of my favorite baseball game. As I continued to play against Owl slowly getting better, I kept thinking that his eyes were moving every now and then to analyze me as if watching the moves of a trained fighter. I wondered if something was up, but I also assumed I might just be seeing things due to all the alcohol and drugs I had had this morning. Eventually with a triumphant cry I hit the 19th Home Run against Owl. I started yelling profanities at him and making fun of him, reveling in the delight of overcoming my greatest rival yet in battle. In this moment of pure unbridled joy that can only be experienced once in a millennia, I failed to notice one key detail. On the level end screen Owl was frowning and his eyes were glowing red. He slowly mouthed at me "I will get back at you for this". If only I had been more observant, I might have avoided the events that followed. If you are reading this, I ask that you do not make the same mistake as I. As I left the house for work, overjoyed that I had beaten Owl, I forgot to turn off my computer... this was my second mistake. My wife was home for the day, having worked overtime for the last couple weeks, she was taking a short break. I had an above average day at work as I rode the high from defeating my erstwhile enemy. I bought my boss coffee, I smiled at my fellow employees in the office, I picked up the garbage that had missed the trash bin, and I even presented an amazing new business venture to my team. All in all, that day was turning out to be the best in my life... little did I know that when I returned home, my life would be turned on its end, and what had once been the best day of my life, would instead become the worst. When I returned home, the house was oddly silent. The lights were out and the main floor seemed to be almost untouched as I had left it when I went to work in the morning. "That's weird" I thought. I wondered why it seemed that my wife had not even gotten up yet. I understand wanting to sleep in on a day off, but sleeping for almost 20 hours was a bit overkill. I walked up the stares to my bedroom, some tea for my wife in my hand. As I opened the door to my bedroom, I was met with the most heartbreaking sight of my life. There in my bed was Owl, fully real and in our world, from his smug beaked face to his feathery plump rear. Next to him under the covers, with her arms rapped around him was my wife. She was looking longingly into his eyes as they whispered sweet little nothings to each other. They turned to look at me as they heard the sound of shattering glass. I had dropped the mug of tea on the ground where it had broken into millions of tiny pieces, just like my heart. I couldn't believe my eyes. Owl had f*cked my wife. As they stared at me and I stared at them a burning rage, and a broken sadness started to fill me. Owl slowly got up and out of his bed. "How do you feel now? You may have beaten the game, but you lost to me at life." He spoke slowly and demeaningly, as he towered over me. What was I supposed to do? That's when it hit me, if Owl was able to come out of my computer via this cursed game, other people, or items, should be able to materialize too. I rushed over to my computer typing in my password with my trained left hand with relative ease, as I navigated my 40 open chrome tabs with relative ease. There was Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby, just as I'd left it, except that Owl was no longer in the game. I boldly pressed my hand against the screen over the spot where Pooh held the bat so gallantly. With just a bit of force, I felt the screen give way like the surface of a lake, and I reached in towards my goal. My hand resurfaced as Owl stared at me in shock. Tightly grasped in my hand was my trusty bat that had carried me through so many trials. I stepped towards Owl, my bat in my hand arm outstretched. Owl cowered in fear as I stepped towards him menacingly. "It's time for one last Home Run" I said as I lifted the bat over my shoulder and swung. Owl's head went sailing past my wife and out my window as I turned away and looked at my PC. "Game Over" I said. And with a mighty swing I shattered my computer into pieces. As I did the bat began to flicker and fade out of existence. Owl's corpse and the blood that was pooling across the floor did the same. I looked at my wife betrayed and hurt. Without turning back I left my house that day and never returned. I have now travelled the world telling my story in the hopes that none shall ever follow in my footsteps.
All in all, I would rate this game 4 out of 5 stars. It would have been a perfect game if Owl hadn't materialized out of my computer and f*cked my wife.
All in all, I would rate this game 4 out of 5 stars. It would have been a perfect game if Owl hadn't materialized out of my computer and f*cked my wife.
Reviewer:
brdpeng
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
December 20, 2021
Subject: Distressed
Subject: Distressed
after playing Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby i have hit the lowest point in my life. I don't recall a time in my life that made me as painstakingly disturbed. I have since consulted a therapist to help with the trauma i've suffered from playing against tigger, owl, and christopher robin, whomst i wish stumbles into the agape mouth of a preditory mammal, and then continues to be scewered by the teeth of this animal, and eaten alive. i doubt anyone will be able to comprehend the sheer and dire amount of pain i've been forced to withstand due to this game, and with that being said, i rate this game a 5/5, fun game for all ages, would recomend
Reviewer:
Gamby352
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
November 30, 2021
Subject: Hatred
Subject: Hatred
This game has taken years from my life. The friendly animals only bring destruction upon myself, family, and friends. Owl deserves to be put into a rotisserie oven and cooked alive. His gravity defying pitch has caused much suffering. Just the thought of trying to his ball makes my hatred increase.
Great game though!!!
Great game though!!!
Reviewer:
Max Tyree
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favorite -
October 22, 2021
Subject: Conflicted
Subject: Conflicted
Part of me wants to immobilize christopher robin so that he can stop haunting my dreams, and part of me wants to just throw my computer directly out the window. If you prefer to keep your sanity intact do not play this game. I once tried to stop playing and tigger stepped into the doorway to tell me I could never stop.
Reviewer:
OWLS NEMISIS
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
October 17, 2021
Subject: suicide game
Subject: suicide game
Owls gravity defying pitch took everything from me. Owl took six family members from me. I came home pooh bear home run open on the family laptop and 6 family members who hung themselves from the ceiling. This game, this lifestyle is addictive and destructive. I have so far spent 14 thousand on mouses at jb hi fi. And that was just to get past owl.
His smug face haunts my dreams, I wake up sweating, crying and shaking thinking about owls pitch. I lost my job, my family my life as I knew it to this game.
Overall great game!
His smug face haunts my dreams, I wake up sweating, crying and shaking thinking about owls pitch. I lost my job, my family my life as I knew it to this game.
Overall great game!
Reviewer:
Gerbityblah
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favorite -
July 5, 2021
Subject: IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit
Subject: IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit
I want Winnie to smack all these "friends" upside the head with that baseball bat in his hand.
Reviewer:
YOURMOM.COM
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favoritefavoritefavoritefavoritefavorite -
March 10, 2021
Subject: This game makes me want to die
Subject: This game makes me want to die
Dont get me wrong this is a good. Game but it bring out the worst of me. I have broken 5 mouses trying to play this game. It makes me cuss my brains off and also makes me want to die. Just a warning you will rage.
P.S
I don't think anyone has ever beat this game before
P.S
I don't think anyone has ever beat this game before