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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 7, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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have a great weekend. right now on jimmy kimmel live, tom hanks. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight -- tom hanks, and june diane raphael. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks. thank you guys for coming. that's very nice, thank you. i appreciate that. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. please, relax, we have a lot to get to tonight. it's election day. a guy cried about his jacket on "the bachelorette." we have a lot of important news today. we'll get to all of it. but first i want to take a moment to share something that has me a little bit disturbed
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and certainly puzzled. the story goes like this. one of our producers, let's call her maggie, because that's her name, maggie. [ laughter ] maggie was at a wedding in greenwich, connecticut, over the weekend. she was staying at a hyatt regency hotel and it was friday night. she got back from the rehearsal dinner and turned on our show. which, by the way, maggie, i appreciate. [ laughter ] she tuned into the local abc affiliate on the cable system in the room. and this is the description she found of me and our show. “chubby, cheeky comedian jimmy kimmel, late of cable tv's raunchy the man show, launched his own late-night abc talk-variety series on january 26, 2003.” really? nineteen years later, that's still what we're going with? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why do i feel that's going to be in my obituary? thanks, whoever the hell did that. we've got a chubby and cheeky show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we could not ask for a better guest than we have tonight. sully sullenberger, jim lovell, captain phillips, and sheriff woody are all here in the body
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of one man. [ cheers and applause ] mr. tom hanks. i don't know about you, but for me, covid got serious when tom hanks and rita wilson got it. i was like, "oh, no, it got the gumps! we're in trouble!" [ laughter ] but things are getting better. according to the white house, 70% of u.s. adults are now fully vaccinated. and 80% are at least partially vaccinated. [ cheers and applause ] the other 20% are awaiting the results of the clinical trials being conducted by kyrie irving of the brooklyn nets. [ laughter ] i don't get it. pressure should kick in.eer - a wave of popular opinion. like, remember a few years ago when everyone was doing the harlem shake? and at first you thought it was dumb, but then once 80% of your friends on social media were doing it, you thought, “well i guess i should do the harlem shake?” [ laughter ] and you shook, and it was -- this is kinda like that, except in this case if you dance, you won't die on a ventilator. so why not? [ laughter ] there is a new covid variant making the rounds, called delta plus.
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delta plus spreads faster and has 40% more legroom. [ laughter ] which is nice. these new names need to be catchier. like hurricanes. we should start naming new variants after prominent anti-vaxxers. “i'm sorry sir, you tested positive for scott baio.” [ laughter ] speaking of contagious viruses, we had a new episode of “the bachelorette” tonight. [ laughter ] this might not be the most dramatic season ever, but it's definitely one of the dumbest. there was a showdown tonight between peter “the pizza-preneur” and his handsome arch enemy, will. >> you're not a man, you're a bully. >> i'm not going to back down. >> you're a bully. >> you're going to crumble in life. pizza boy. >> you call me a pizza boy, you be wishing you were a pizza boy. >> all right, pizza boy. >> that money don't bring you character. >> brings me class. >> pshht. brings you a big mouth. >> you hate my mouth because you wish you had it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that an insult? or are they about to hook up? [ laughter ] these two bros do not get along, bro.
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they had a “top gun” themed challenge date. will won the challenge and got a “top gun” bomber jacket as a prize. that did not sit well with pizza guy, who accused will of stealing one of his ideas. so he decided to do the unthinkable. >> will's hysterical, he's irrational. he came in at me, he started with me. >> the jacket's a symbol of the disrespect that i continue to get. >> so he's going to get a little taste of his own medicine. i had to put him in his place. >> jimmy: whoa, bro. [ laughter ] bro. bro, no. you can't, bro. you can't drown another bro's jacket, bro. you can't do it. [ laughter ] and even though that jacket was quite clearly water-resistant, its owner, the aforementioned will, was not. >> as long as you just kind of just sit there, kick it, you will forever be regarded as the
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bigger man. >> i appreciate you, bro. i'll be right back. i was hurt beyond words. i earned that jacket. that jacket was mine. not only it was mine, it was the meaning behind it. it meant that ultimately through any obstacle that michelle and i go through in life, i'm going to be there to overcome that. and peter had to ruin it. like he really took it that far. this bro is really pushing my buttons, man! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my jacket buttons! he went full mental jacket. and even though it would probably have taken two shakes to dry that jacket off. [ laughter ] will got a rose. and the pizza jerk went home. he'll be back wetting jackets on “bachelor in paradise,” i'm sure. no doubt whatsoever. there were a number of elections today in a few states. the big one being the race for governor in virginia where terry mcauliffe has set a new world record for most emails ever sent
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from any human being ever. i got 11 emails from this guy asking for money on halloween alone. he sent emails at 3:18. and 4:02 am. some were from his “personal” email. others from his “iphone.” and this might be the saddest email i've gotten from a candidate. “have to wonder, are you even reading this?” [ laughter ] yeah, unfortunately, i am. now leave me alone, i'm trying to get a 4-year-old into a t-rex costume! [ laughter ] i got 11 emails yesterday from this guy, including this. “no regrets, folks.” really? not even for emailing me 22 times in 48 hours? no regrets? 2:44 a.m. this morning. “need your eyes on this.” [ laughter ] my eyes are trying to sleep! he even sent an email asking if he was sending too many emails. [ laughter ] yes, you are. what part of “unsubscribe” are you not understanding? [ laughter ] i get this constantly. i get it from the trump people, i get it from the democrats. at this point, i would pay to be left alone.
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donate $100, we won't email you for a month. $500? maybe they'll let us live our lives for a year. [ laughter ] president biden is headed home right now. he was in scotland for the u.n. climate change conference, during which more than 100 world leaders agreed to end deforestation by the year 2030. basically, they made a deal to save the amazon from amazon. [ laughter ] the queen of england addressed the summit in a video message asking leaders to act “for our children and our children's children.” all of which she's probably going to outlive. [ laughter ] what that is woman, 1,000 years old now? she was around before the earth even had climate. [ laughter ] the idea is that if we work together, we can save what's left of our planet's great forests. just in time for christmas tree season. [ laughter ] the u.n. secretary-general got things off to a fun start by telling the delegates we are, quote, “digging our own graves”" senator joe manchin was like, “yeah, but if we stop, we're gonna put a lot of grave diggers out of business!” [ laughter ]
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what about them? i don't know if we have more crazy people of below-average intelligence in congress now, or we're just noticing them more. but we have a lot. including this rocket scientist, the honorable louis gohmert of texas, who is trying to look at the bright side of catastrophic global warming. >> i've read where experts have said, if you've got a choice between the temperature getting slightly warmer or slightly colder, you want warmer because if it's getting slightly colder, that means there's less time for crops to grow. if it's slightly warmer, not too much warmer, then you got more time for crops to grow, you got more food. >> jimmy: right. but if there's no water, how do you -- oh, never mind, you big silly gohmert. [ laughter ] “where i come from, when you get warmer, that means you're closer to finding where they done hid your birthday boots!” [ laughter ] and then we have the genius from georgia, marjorie taylor greene, who was fined not one but four more times yesterday for refusing to wear a mask on the house floor. klan mom has been fined 20 times
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now for not wearing a mask, $48,000 in fines. which is a lot of truck nutz. [ laughter ] can we please just fast forward to the part where she gets kicked out of congress, her husband leaves her for a man, and she starts dating pete davidson? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] she's not the only one, by the way. her fellow whack job from colorado, lauren boebert. she's now sinking her rabid teeth into a right-wing rumor that dr. fauci and the national institutes of health used taxpayer money to torture dogs. >> we need accountability. fauci should be arrested for lying to congress. he should be fired from his position as nih director. we need a full investigation into just how many puppies were eaten alive on fauci's watch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: every time i see this woman speak, i expect it to turn into stepmother porn. [ laughter and applause ]
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the country is getting crazier by the minute. in dallas today hundreds of qanon nuts gathered in dealey plaza to within the triumphant return of john f. kennedy jr. who you may recall is dead, died in a plane crash back in 1999. but these people believe he didn't actually die. these people believe that he has been working as a secret agent of donald trump, to put him back in power. for real. this was the scene at 12:29 this afternoon when john-john was expected to arrive in dallas. >> it is almost 12:29. any minute now, the big reveal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're going to find this hard to believe, he didn't show. he did not. can you imagine how rude that is? [ laughter ] all those people thought jfk jr. was coming to see them in dallas. and even if he did come, you think he would be on your side? [ laughter ] some of these bananas were saying john f. kennedy sr. was going to show up too.
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which, jfk was born in 1917. even if he was alive, he'd be 104! [ laughter ] why not bring back abraham lincoln too, while we're at it? [ laughter and applause ] neither jfk showed up at the appointed time. but rather than say, we were wrong, this is crazy, they immediately come came up with a new prediction claiming the kennedys and other deceased celebrities will show themselves at a rolling stones concert in dallas later tonight. [ laughter ] i guess charlie watts is back with the band, i don't know. [ laughter ] this is like linus waiting for the great pumpkin. but without the charm. it's crazy. hundreds, maybe even thousands of americans believe this. it makes you wonder, where the hell do they come up with this stuff? and i think i may have stumbled upon the answer here. >> looking for insane conspiracy theories to actually believe? introducing maga libs. >> all right! >> adjective. >> portly. >> nationality. >> canadian. >> just fill in the blanks and get ready for outrage.
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>> plural noun. >> croutons. >> okay, let's try it. those portly democrats are putting canadian microchips in the election croutons! i knew it! >> no, mama, why? >> from the makers of rubik's q and nahtzee. with dozens of cuckoo conspiracies to keep your family furious for hours. >> oh my god, the fuzzy pedophiles are using robotic chipmunks to control our nipples? >> got to let the people know! >> they're not going to get away with this! >> own the libs with lag ga maga libs. available at hobby lobby and wherever tiki torches are sold. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight. june diane raphael is here. and we'll be back with the one and only tom hanks. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ doorbell rings ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, from the new movie “8-bit christmas” june diane raphael is here. tomorrow night, gal gadot and dwayne johnson will join us, with music from idles. and on thursday, serena williams and music from j balvin. please join us for all of that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a multi award-winning actor, producer, writer, director, and the embodiment of everything america expires to be -- did i say expires? [ laughter ] terrible freudian slip. you can see him next in an r.v. with a dog and a home-made robot named jeff in the new movie “finch.” >> lesson number five, live a little. go ahead. yeah.
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>> go again. go again. go again. go again. >> tornado detection. shelter advised. ♪ >> jimmy: “finch” premieres friday on apple tv plus. please welcome tom hanks! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hey, everybody! hey, it's a talk show! >> jimmy: it's a talk show. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's a talk show! this is a talk show! >> jimmy: kind of. >> this is great. we did the cards. i drove. i mean, the swag.
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i got free stuff in the dressing room. it all says, believe it or not, the jimmy kimmel show on it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i'm doing a talk show, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and i'm very happy to hear it. >> you know, it's funny. because this unique thing happened, jimmy, that i'd like to share with you. >> jimmy: please, go on. it does feel like a real talk show, now that you're here. >> that was it. i was the one in the helmet speaking like this. like this. and the robot was a great guy, caleb landry jones. >> jimmy: there was a real guy in the robot? >> caleb landry jones was there every day knowing he was going to be replaced by cgi. but all the movements, all the body language, that was him in a robot costume that did not exactly look it. but he wore like two-inch -- excuse me, two-foot stilts. so i was always looking up at him. fabulous. >> jimmy: did he do that just to make it easier for you? >> no, he did it because he was getting paid as an actor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> you know.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: seems like he could have went home. >> he's an artist par excellence. i'm sorry you didn't get to see seamus the dog. there are only three of us in this movie. >> jimmy: i love this movie. and a dog is not a person. robot part is debatable. i thought it was just great, i really did. i thought it was absolutely great. >> as a selfish and competitive actor, i was three pages into it, there's only three people? actually, there's only one person in this movie. i think i'm the man for that job! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you do seem to gravitate -- >> let's see if i can't make that happen. [ cheers and applause ] then after that it's all just trying to -- >> jimmy: you seem to gravitate towards movies where there isn't anyone else around. >> i don't want anyone else there. [ laughter ] i want inanimate objects or a cute animal that looks at me like this. >> jimmy: speaking of the animal, i was wondering, was hooch jealous? >> dog years are like this. dog's died a long, long, long time ago. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> my heart is still filled with hooch, there's no doubt about
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it. actually, i still have some of his hair come out every now and again. [ laughter ] seamus asked me questions. was he really that big? that's one of the things seamus would ask. >> jimmy: was seamus a good dog? >> i scratched him, loved him, took naps with him. shooting one day in the navajo nation, a very historic place. we were dock doing a scene where jeff, caleb landry jones, and he -- we were teaching him how to chase a tennis ball. it's the only thing this dog will do with anybody on this planet. he will chase a tennis ball with you. he loves it. chasing the tennis ball. but we were in the country, in the desert. far, far away we heard howling during the day. it was a coyote. wild coyotes. and seamus was like, ball, ball! tennis -- [ laughter ] [ coyote howling ] ball, ball! [ coyote howling ]
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we're like, dude, you've got to work with us here. seamus was like, my people! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the enemy is coming. >> one more call and seamus was gone. he took off to say hi to the folks. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> and 19 grown-up people took off yelling, no! seamus! bad dog! seamus! seamus! [ laughter ] eventually he kind of came back on his own, made this long circuit. what, what, ball, ball, i'm here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i have a terrible question for you. there is a replacement seamus ready in case seamus runs off with the coyotes? >> this is how seamus has the producers by the nuts, if you want to know. >> jimmy: i see, there is no other -- >> there is no other seamus. >> jimmy: just one. >> a soft one but that was -- you know. >> jimmy: is it true that you were asked to go to space by jeff bezos before william shatner? >> yeah, provided i pay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> it only costs like $28 million or something like that. i'm doing good, jimmy, i'm doing
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good. but i ain't paying 28 -- you know what, we could simulate the experience. >> jimmy: sure. >> of going to space right now. it's about a 12-minute flight. is that about it? >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah. >> 12-minute flight, okay. we could all do it in our seats right here. [ cheers ] lean back like this. and go, ughh, ughh, ughh! [ laughter and applause ] do that for four minutes, all right? do that for four minutes. then you get up and you float. just take off. take off your seat belt. whoa, whoa! [ laughter ] this is fabulous! man! oh! what? get back in? all right. and another four minutes of uggh! i don't need to spend 28 million bucks to do that. >> jimmy: you're not going do that? >> i'm not going to do that. >> jimmy: if it was free you'd do that? >> i'd do it on occasion just to experience the joy pretending i'm a billionaire.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you like manual typewriters. i was very interested to see that you are hosting a radio show. and not a podcast, but a radio show. >> boss radio, one of the greatest -- i'm not an investor. i'm just a fan. >> jimmy: a website. boss radio is a music format from the '60s and '70s? >> stuff from the '60s from around the world that you have never heard before. an 80-year-old song you've never heard before is brand-new music. i hear stuff like crazy. i have been able to host a couple of -- >> jimmy: these are not favorite songs from your youth? >> no, they tell me what they're going to play and i find out interesting stuff about it. rob mccune, the poet -- >> jimmy: he recorded some albums. >> he did. and there were guys who were session musicians went up and formed moby grape and stuff. the history is fantastic. but it's that lucrative world of radio that you know. >> jimmy: yes, i was a radio disk jockey. >> how many radio stations were were you fired from?
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>> jimmy: how many does all of them add up to? [ laughter ] no, not all, all but two of them. i was fired from about five radio stations. >> what was the genre? what music were you playing? >> jimmy: different, top 40 -- >> "smoke on the water"? >> jimmy: classic rock. hot adult contemporary. >> "do the hustle," stuff like that? >> jimmy: no, that was before my time, mostly the '80s. >> back in the days of the dog and pony shows, you'd talk about movies, you'd do morning zoo radio. welcome, welcome! >> jimmy: i was on two morning >> whoa, he is big boy, hey, and slammy! hey, i'm big boy, hey, look who we got here, hey, mr. forrest gump is here, big boy, what have you got to say? what is this movie about? i'm slammy, what is the movie about? hello, star. there was one guy did a thing, every 90 seconds the cohost said, "hello, star." >> jimmy: what? >> i think it was wstr was the name of the radio station. >> jimmy: yeah? >> his job was to always say,
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"hello, star." >> jimmy: what? >> i'm trying to tell a story, he'd screw up the punchline. "hello, star." hey, i'm big boy and slappy! hello, star! >> jimmy: i was slappy. >> every time i walked into one of these studios at 4:30 in the morning, i saw grown men look at they with this look in their eyes. "get me out of here." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. >> "please, please, let me give away ben stein's money." >> jimmy: take me over the wall. >> put me with adam carolla. "the man show." get me out of here. >> jimmy: that was actually me. [ applause ] >> boss radio 66, i love it. >> jimmy: that is a lot of fun. i love that you make a little bit of time for something that is just totally fun for you. >> well, when we were growing up, didn't you all just kind of, hey, how you doing? it's 24 past the hour, a lot of rain coming up, and right now take a look at the 405, look out if you're coming over the sepulveda pass, got to slow down for the right three lanes, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: tom hanks is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what is... an overpass? come on! question, is that an “s” or a “5”? think it's a 5... i thought so. argh! frustration...loading. [sfx: laser sounds] nobody wants more robot tests. but we could all use more ways to save. chai latte, for “rob ott.” for “rob ott.” error human. [sfx: laser sounds] switch to geico for more ways to save. tums vs. mozzarella stick [sfx: laser sounds] when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in every bite. crunchy outside, chewy inside. ♪ tums, tums, tums, tums ♪ tums chewy bites (avo) command products organize any space with ease...
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with tom hanks. >> did you have a cuckoo name? >> jimmy: i was on two morning zoos. >> jimmy the nut or something like that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i was just jimmy, jimmy the sports guy. i was a one-time vinny the sports punk. which was a character i played. >> wow. >> jimmy: i was happy to be there. and then every time some celebrity would come in and be all grumbly they were there in the morning, we were like, what's the problem, we're here every morning. >> at 4:30 a.m. >> jimmy: yeah. >> what's the prime slot? >> jimmy: morning drive. >> 4:00 to 6:00? >> jimmy: 6:00, 5:30 to 10:00 a.m. then you have to do a shift sunday morning too. >> you were in show business, my friend. >> jimmy: yes. >> you got paid to say funny things to people with a microphone. >> jimmy: yes. and i couldn't hear if they were laughing so i just assumed they weren't.
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>> i assume they weren't. [ laughter ] but they were waiting for the next song. they were waiting for that. >> jimmy: on a serious note, if i may, as you know, i love the show "bosom buddies." >> aww. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not only do i love tom hanks and admire him, peter scolari, your friend and costar and the guy you started with on television, passed away. >> peter walked onto the set saying, we have a guy who's going to be the other bosom buddy, he's already done two fabulous shows that have been canceled, and this we think could be the third. [ laughter ] he came in, peter, god bless him -- i miss him every day. he had the body of a gymnast. i mean, like a professional cirque du soleil gymnast. he could do the iron triangle and stuff like that. he was a juggler. and i don't know how many people truly do change your lives when you cross paths with them. we met, picked up the scripts, started screwing around. i actually thought, this is it.
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this is how this works. this is like a hand inside a glove. for two years at paramount studios, on unlucky stage 25, we -- >> jimmy: was that where the shows went to die? >> yeah, yeah. we were the only two guys on the show, holland taylor, wendy joseph river, god bless her, donna dixon, thelma hawkins, me and peter. >> jimmy: right. >> they had their dressing rooms on the other side of the stage, me and peter would be in pantyhose and lip gloss and hair nets -- there you go. >> jimmy: if you didn't know the show "bosom buddies" -- [ laughter ] >> that was from the pilot, me and peter. that's hildy and buffy. [ applause ] understand, these guys would be leaning in the doors of each other's dressing room, "do you kids?"
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"yeah, i've got two, i'd like to have some others." we were molecularly connected in a way that we started speaking the same language, particularly -- our show was not on film, it was video, in order to save money. so much like this, we had cameras with these tally lights. our thursday rehearsals were dress rehearsals and camera blocking, which are 14 hours. we had to stay on the set and say every line over and over and over again. so we started screwing around. we started monkeying around with the script, playing around with props and whatnot. and the directors were up in a booth doing a kind of line cut, you know, where they're saying, "tighten up on camera 3, all right, back to camera 2, coming back to 4, wider, wider." they're trying to do this upstairs in a booth that we have no idea where they are or what they're doing, we're just screwing around. making up new lines, playing things around. we'd hear on the studio talk-back, "hey, guys, guys, guys -- guys? are you going to say that?" "we might." "it's not in the script."
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"we might say it, if it works it works." "can you give us a moment, can you give us a moment?" "yeah, sure, go ahead." then we'd come up with something else. [ laughter ] they'd come back again, "wait, wait, we just figured out one thing you're going to do, you going to do that too?" "we might, we might." we'd get so bad, one guy who lasted one week. "all right, stop!" he's calling it. "stop, stop, stop! you guys, you guys, we're trying to figure out the shots up here, and every time we come back, you're saying something different! we're trying to figure this out! you guys have got to help us!" "then figure it out." "if you think you can do a better job, come up and direct the show yourself." peter is like, "i'm on my way!" [ cheers and applause ] peter would say, "i can do that job!" i'm like, dude, dude. i have adhd, you have rage issues. [ laughter ] so we had two years of doing
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this in which, you know -- shoot for three weeks, one week off. every week was some brand of cuckoo adventure. can we show the clip? >> jimmy: yeah, we have a clip. this clip is unusual because you're not in the dresses. >> the second season, we were -- we had our own commercial production company. all right. and henry, peter, was a writer. and kip, myself, an artist. we went off to a cabin in the woods to write and paint and get in touch with our artistic selves. what was unique about it, it was actually -- we remember it as a really fond show because it was just us for one half of the episode. they were doing a scene, literally a live tiger in the other -- they shot that during the day. so we were the only ones working all week live and at night. and so we cut it up.
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but this will show the ease and the affection and just how much fun this was. >> jimmy: here it is, we go back in time, the way back machine. >> i'm going to say this is 1981. so this is close to 40 years ago. >> jimmy: "bosom buddies," take a look. [ laughter ] >> boy, i feel good. >> i feel good. >> i feel great. >> i feel fine. >> i feel like hell. i can't get over how we fought, how base man is, how self-involved. >> henry, i'm hungry and i cannot discuss philosophy when i am hungry! i'm so hungry, last night i ate my albino snake! [ laughter ] i've been spitting up wood chips all day long! [ laughter ] we have one can of soup to last two days. once that soup is gone, there is nothing left, henry, nothing, nothing to eat! except --
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[ laughter ] >> get out of here. >> let's make a pact, huh? come on, come on, let's make a pact. that f i should be the first to go, and you have the sudden craving for -- protein -- [ laughter ] what are you doing, tenderizing me? [ laughter ] >> kip, kip, kip kabob! get ahold of yourself! [ knocking ] >> who is it? >> who is it? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's great. >> peter has a lovely family, his wife, tracy's, got great kids and we lost him to the emperor of all maladies. so thanks for letting us show
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that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tom hanks, everybody. "finch" premieres friday on apple tv plus. thanks for being with us. we'll be back with june diane raphael. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ual circumstances, means complicated taxes, but for a turbotax live expert like me, it just makes things interesting. so, give us everything you've got. what if i'm a professional gamer with a ton of expenses? if they help drive views, let's talk deductions. what if i'm in a state with no income tax but my survival videos are viewed in 38 countries? i can help and if this is a business dinner, save those jerky receipts. an interesting life can mean an even greater refund. you do your thing, we've got your taxes. intuit turbotax live. for people living with h-i-v, keep being you. and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to and stay undetectable.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. if you are getting together with relatives on thanksgiving but don't want to talk to them, my next guest has a solution. "8 bit christmas" premieres november 24th on hbo max. please say hello to june diane raphael! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic, how's it going? >> i'm great. i feel like nobody's talking about the side effect of the vaccine, which it makes you hotter. [ laughter ] i don't know why it's not being discussed. >> jimmy: it is funny. if we found out you could lose eight pounds by taking the vaccine, suddenly -- >> everybody.
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>> jimmy: it would be up 110%, people would be getting six, seven, eight shots of the vaccine. >> it's true. >> jimmy: did you see tom hanks? do you know him? >> i didn't have the courage to tell him this. but i used to live next door to tom's son, colin hanks. and one halloween, i opened my door and tom hanks was standing there. trick-or-treating with his grandchildren. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> and i thought, wow. that's an amazing tom hanks costume. [ laughter ] because everybody's an art director and creative, and i'm like, "that's good, take it off." >> jimmy: i understand. he doesn't even reserve that for halloween. he'll go to people's houses and knock on the door. >> just to mess with them, it's quite weird. >> jimmy: they give him whatever he asks for because he's tom hanks. >> i said, "yes, you can take more than one, just you." >> jimmy: watching a clip of "bosom buddies." tom and peter scolari.
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i think you finished seven seasons of "grace and frankie." >> just yesterday. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jane fonda and lily tomlin, two legends of -- legends of everything, really. >> sure, yeah, it was crazy. i've never done a good-bye like that on a show. that's lasted that many years. and i wanted a lot from my good-bye. >> jimmy: you did? >> too much. >> jimmy: you didn't get enough? >> jimmy, i just -- everybody gathered around. it was the last shot. and jane and lily are wrapping tomorrow so not everybody's done. every day we say good-bye to smeone. and i wanted to hug people very closely. >> jimmy: sure. >> too closely. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> probably. and i just wanted to make really long eye contact. and just have a moment with each and every crew member. and it was the end of the day, and i see a woman walking toward me. and when i tell you i put my
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arms out, ready for an embrace, and to really acknowledge the time we've spent together and connect with each other on a meaningful level. and i said, "come here, you." [ laughter ] and she said, "i just need your microphone." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> that was tough. that was tough. [ applause ] and i realized, people are ready to go. you've said your good-byes, we're shooting in malibu, people want to get home. >> jimmy: yeah, and it was your last day but not their last day. >> they had to work today quite early. >> jimmy: right. >> yeah. they were not happy. >> jimmy: that was bad timing. probably should have just stopped by the set. >> i know. >> jimmy: been part of the real last day. >> that's absolutely right. >> jimmy: this movie is set in the '80s. is this correct? the best decade that we've experienced? >> i haven't seen a better one. >> jimmy: yeah. and it's a christmas movie. >> yes. >> jimmy: which feels weird to be talking about christmas. because we just -- >> i'm so ready, i'm ready. >> jimmy: i have a sack of candy at our house.
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>> i'm ready. as soon as the clock struck midnight on halloween, i set my sights on christmas. >> jimmy: you did. you're one of those people? >> i'm one of those people. i'm sorry, after the pandemic -- in the midst of a pandemic with everything we've been through, i'm going very hard at christmas this year. >> jimmy: you are. >> oh, absolutely. so i have two girlfriends who just recently reported that they are going to be putting christmas trees in their living room, and also in their bedrooms. >> jimmy: wait, no, what? >> my head exploded. >> jimmy: wait a minute. >> i thought, i've been subscribing to the rules of society as i thought that they stood, that we all had to abide by. and you're telling me you can put another christmas tree in a different room? >> jimmy: let me ask you this about your two girlfriends. are they a couple? >> no, separate. >> jimmy: so separately -- >> purchasing. >> jimmy: they've decided this? >> yes. >> jimmy: on their own or they came together to make this plan? >> there were whispers on a group text. [ laughter ] that maybe this year we do two trees.
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and i said -- i've never heard of such a thing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> call me grandma, but -- i'm a one-tree household. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i didn't know it was possible. and they said, expand your mind. >> jimmy: wow. >> expand your mind. you love christmas so much. which i do. why not put on a tree in every room? >> jimmy: your husband is a very funny man, paul scheer. is he supportive? have you run this idea by him? >> no, sir. >> jimmy: you have not, yeah. [ laughter ] >> there's not a ton of space. but just earlier today i saw his dresser with all his clothes and thought, do we need her? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you thought about this journey that i think especially men of a certain age take in the middle of the night to go to the restroom. and whether he might walk into, crash into the tree? >> listen. whatever happens between him and the tree, on his own time, on his own dime, is between him and that tree. [ laughter and applause ]
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i'll try to reset in the morning, get it together, start a new day. >> jimmy: how does it work with gifts? do you tell paul what you want or does he figure it out? >> i don't tell -- he's a wonderful gifter. >> is he? okay. >> unfortunately, i'm not a great gift giver. >> jimmy: oh. >> a few years ago, and i'm still paying the price for what i did. i have a number of agents. my ring just fell off. >> jimmy: maybe he'll give you a ring. >> i simply can't bend down to get it, so i guess -- >> jimmy: that seems like a sign of some kind. >> can't get it. >> jimmy: i'm done with my christmas shopping for my wife. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> wait a second. thank you. i couldn't risk it. i couldn't risk getting down there. >> jimmy: that's got to be an omen. don't get the tree in the bedroom! [ laughter ] god is telling us there's going to be a fire! >> oh no! but a few christmases ago, i made the mistake -- i had purchased a number of these backpacks that i thought were
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really cool for my agents. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i have multiple agents, i don't know what they do, but they're all on the emails. i thought, what a lovely gift. paul saw -- my husband saw that i was getting these backpacks. i thought, wow, he really seems to like them. and i got the same one for him. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and he opened it and he said, "you got me the same backpack you got your agents?" as though they're the scum of the earth. [ laughter ] these bottom feeders? i was like, i thought you liked it! so yeah, i'm still recovering. he's a hardman to shop for. >> jimmy: if you need help, i can come up with something nice for paul, as he stumbles into the tree, in the middle of the night, with an erection. [ laughter ] the movie is "8 bit christmas." it premieres november 24th on hbo max. june diane raphael, everybody. thank you, we'll be right back.
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new year, new start. and now comcast business is making it easy to get going with the ready. set. save. sale. get started with fast and reliable internet and voice for $64.99 a month with a 2-year price guarantee. it's easy... with flexible installation and backing from an expert team, 24/7. and for even more value, ask how to get up to a $500 prepaid card. get a great deal for your business with the ready. set. save. sale today. comcast business. powering possibilities. >> jimmy: thanks to tom hangs. thanks to you, june diane raphael. apologies to matt damon, we can not save time for private ryan.
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tomorrow night, gal gadot and dwayne johnson, with music from idles. “nightline” is next. thank you for watching, goodnight.
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, the double life that led to murder. >> molly was absolutely 100% in love with him. >> about to marry her sweetheart. did she learn he was already married before things went horribly wrong? >> the police tell you that your husband has a dead fiancee? >> yes. >> how did the bride to be wind up dead? plus remembering sidney poitier. from groundbreaking roles in movies like "guess who's coming to dinner?" >> you think of yourself as a colored man. i think of myself as a man. >> the legendary actor breaking down barriers with quiet dignity.


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