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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  November 12, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PST

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- nothing, sir. we just found some tremendous deals on cars nobody wants, that's all. barkley, out. - no! but obama wasn't really elected. don't you people care? - [choral singing] ♪ obama ♪ is president ♪ again from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you
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tonight. my guest mike huckabee of the fox news program huckabee will be on the program. he's clearly landed in the right place for himself in terms of hosting. i just want to tell you very quickly, hurricane sandy relief efforts still slowly but surely advancing. the red cross, fema companies doing a nice job except obviously the power company in long island. [bleep]. it would be a shame if you lost power. but here is the thing about the conditions. it's much worse than you probably understand even from the vivid and horrific nature of the images you've seen. the destruction and devastation. the crazy part some of the hardest hit area are places heavily populated with our first responders. firefighters, police, sanitation, e.m.t.s, all live very heavily in these areas. people we rely on when we are in trouble. the dedication of rescue workers, volunteers has been phenomenal but there's still huge needs for hands-on help out there. we work with a particularly
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great group. statten island strong. they're being funded by the foundation that is out in statten island. you can donate. needs are constantly changing. so the best thing you can do honestly is show up in person with a crowbar. or help out and send money. although if you do find yourself with extra crowbars or heavy garbage bags or gloves or masks or underwear or shelter, let people know because, boy, this is going to take a long time. it's going to take everybody to get hands-on with this damned thing. let's get to the news. there comes a time in everybody's life when you're faced with a choice, whether you would like to have sex at your desk at work or remain employed. it can go either way. >> the dramatic fall from grace of one of the most respected military men of this generation
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>> jon: don't be america one of the most respected military men of this generation. c.i.a. director and retired four-star general david petraeus stepped down friday after admit to go an extra marital affair. >> jon: it was captain america. the four-star general and current c.i.a. director caught in a web of sexual intrigue. c.i.a. director, perhaps, this isn't a sexy soviet agent with one of them naughty innuendo names like sonnia vaginov or natalie fellatiovich. and his con vaiveing paramoru told on him. is that how they found out about this? >> law enforcement and multiple u.s. officials tell nbc news
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that emails between him and paula broadwell, his biography were indicative of an extra marital affair. >> jon: really? email? all they had to do to nab america's spy-master general is log to his email? we can intrigue that little sound bite up a little bit? >> law enforcement and multiple u.s. officials tell abc news that emails between him and paula broadwell his biographer were indicative of an extra marital affair. >> jon: how exciting. wait. ( cheers and applause ) the woman involved is petraeus' biographer paula broadwell. why does that name seem so familiar to me? please welcome to the program paula broadwell.
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no, no, that's not it. oh, wait. that is it. by the way, in case anyone out there thought i may have actual journalist instincts, i give you a quick snippet of my interview. >> he's a very high-energy person. he loves serving. he loves to be in the arena >> i thought i would test him but he would test me. >> crushed his pelvis. it was back in the swimming pool. from a mentoring point of view wanted to help me with this project. he can turn water into bottled water >> jon: the whole thing was innuendo after innuendo. the whole time i'm like duh. i had her right there talking about petraeus and it never crossed my mind. the whole time. i was just staring at how defined her arms were and trying to think of another version of my classic i'm an asthmatic joke. i'm the worst journalist in the world. for god's sakes, the title of her book was "all in."
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( cheers and applause ) might as well have called the book what's got two thumbs and is banging his biography? or at least i should have noticed how she was footnoting her information. powerful man at the highest level of government succumbing to desire. what are you going to find credible people to speak to this type of situation >> newt gingrich is a former republican presidential candidate and speaker of the house. >> jon: we got the highest level of government banging a mistress. get me gingrich. well booked, today's show. well booked. age-old story. boy meets girl. boy marries her.
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boy gets promoted. boy bangs underling. nothing more, nothing less or is there in >> this was announced three days after the presidential election. was it held? >> when was the white house told? you just have to wonder what the heck is this? >> to be told on tuesday at 5:00 p.m. of election day which is the story now. frank he loo it doesn't pass the smell test. >> jon: it has a yucky smell. conspiracy number one. the f.b.i. held back the petraeus affair story to prevent obama from losing the election. why we tray us' affair would have had any impact on the election i'm not sure. the point is if only a republican had known about this prior to election day. >> house majority leader eric cantor said an f.b.i. employee told him in october about the petraeus affair. >> jon: oh. the real question is, why is eric cantor protecting the president? why? conspiracy one down. why would the administration want to take out petraeus now? >> this is highly sus spush us
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in its timing >> a few days before petraeus is set to testify about what he knew about benghazi and what the c.i.a. did it doesn't make sense >> so many people are saying that's kind of suspicious >> this is very suspicious e fact that he no longer will have to testify >> now he won't testify, folks. jon: right before he was about to testify on benghazi, conspiracy number two, now we'll never know what petraeus knew unless quitting is different from dying. and has no bearing on whether petraeus will have to testify. >> that's a little bit nonsense because he will be summoned up to the hill. he will testify. >> jon: or will he? oh, he will. of course petraeus has already spoken once to the congress about benghazi. we know what that is worth >> what did david petraeus do right after we started finding out about benghazi. he seemed to side with the white
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house in the analysis that it was the videotape. why did david petraeus side with the white house in that testimony? he knew he was under investigation for his personal life. but is there more to this story about why he said that? >> jon: conspiracy number 3. either the president of the united states blackmailed the head of the c.i.a., forcing him to agree with the administration's lie, or that theory is stupid. can't be both. still though... ( cheers and applause ) ... while we don't have facts, while we don't have facts, we do have feelings >> this is one of those "what the heck is going on" kind of moments. this feels a little homeland. >> jon: really like the show homeland because it's not homeland. it's melrose place. here's the conspiracy. a powerful man had an affair with a phony admirer. all of a sudden she saw another girl flirting with him and she was like email why are you
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flirting with my man? because i saw him first. the other girl is is i'm going to call my friend who works at the f.b.i. because you're scaring the [bleep] out of me. my god, this goes all the way to the top. well not necessarily the top. to that area between the pelvis and the upper thighs. we'll be right d&!:qq-x r&tsá !ib"0ah)
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tonight a former governor of arkansas, host of huckabee on the fox news channel, also a best-selling author. his new book is called dear chandler, dear scarlet, a grandfather's thoughts on faith, family and the things that matter most. please welcome back to the program, mike huckabee. ( cheers and applause ) how are you? >> well, i'm doing great, jon. let's just don't talk about the elections. >> jon: look at this book right here. >> that's a good thing to talk about >> jon: dear chandler, dear scarlet. i find that there is nothing kids love more than letters from their grandparents >> that's why i wrote it. i knew even when they're just tots they'll say please read those to me again >> jon: hopefully it will be about the way the weather used to be. >> it could be. jon: all right. let me ask you a question. you said something... i don't know if this was election night, it was about the republican party and how they have to
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expand their base. take a look at this. mike huckabee talking about... >> i think republicans have done a pathetic job of reaching out to people of color. something we have to work on. >> jon: why to they have to work on that? in other words like is it work or is it something you feel like how do you reach out to people of color without necessarily addressing their concerns? >> that's a fair question. jon, i got 49% of the african-american vote in my state when i was ran for governor. i think it's ridiculous for republicans to assume we won't get that vote. it's automatic for the democrats. that's just not true. >> jon: right i think the fact is republicans have done a pathetic job of communicating what conservatism does to empower people and how it helps people to move from one rung of the ladder to the next. and to be honest, some brands of conservatism don't help people
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make it to the next rung of the ladder >> jon: here's what i think is actually a larger problem for conservatives in this arena because i've noticed the pivot among certain, you know, all of a sudden they're saying like, maybe we should talk about immigration since we need to pick off some hispanic vote. we should talk about... there is a certain patronizing feeling of like, oh, god, all right, so we have to talk to latinos and black people now >> that will never work. that will never work because you can't show up in october of an election year and say, oh, by the way we wanted to come by and say hello. we'd sure like for you to vote for us. it's about appointments. it's about policy that changes the way people perceive your party because of the reality that you're actually doing something that helps them. whether it's education or economic development. you have to make sure that it's not just some kind of a election year window dressing because that doesn't do a dog-gone thing
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>> jon: here's what i think the largest obstacle you're going to have to overcome. what they have utilized minorities for in the conservative world in a lot of ways. this is election day >> what's going on in philly with the new black panther party >> the number of black panthers were outside of a polling site >> a member of the new black panther party >> standing guard emi-military post to intimidate voters >> fox news confirmed he is a designated poll watcher. >> if it's not voter intimidation, what is it? >> standing guard outside a polling place >> intimidating voters in philadelphia >> last time four years ago one of them had a billy club >> in 2008 in philadelphia, they said you can't be ruled by a black man >> jon: basically there's a story on fox that ran 21 times. there's a black guy in philadelphia. and he's by the door. do you understand what i'm
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saying? you cannot simultaneously use a group of people as a boogie man. you can't scare... here's the hope it seemed like of the right. we're going to scare you enough to vote out this one black guy by showing you these other black guys. but we don't want to scare you so much about these other black guys that you think they might be near where you vote >> i think it would be a little bit of a stretch to say that every conservative has this anxiety because that's not true. there are a lot of black conservatives >> jon: would you say that they use that to stir up fear about a black panther man >> i think it goes back to the election four years ago when there was apparently some voter intimidation >> jon: there were two guys at that polling place >> with billy clubs in their hands walking around. that kind of maybe dissuade me from wanting to vote if somebody was cracking a billy club
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>> jon: if that's what they were doing >> that's what the photographs show, jon. here's what i think has to happen. it's as if fox is doing it. i'm on fox. i don't think that. i don't do that >> jon: we'll be right back with more from mike huckabee where we will challenge that p 2@0á0á,jádtbxm,xrg-x
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>> jon: we're talking with governor mike huckabee about an important issue. when you keep demonizing these groups whether it be single women, black people, ill illegal immigrants, it makes it impossible to work with them as a collaboration. why would you collaborate with evil people? when you convince them they're evil. why work with them >> i won't defend that. i hope you wouldn't defend that every time christians are depicted on many of the talk shows they're depicted as homophobic, racist, you know,... >> jon: don't confuse that though when people are not being scientific but when they're against... you can argue with someone about gay marriage. you can challenge someone on climate change when they pretend it doesn't exist and say that's unscientific because that's a fact. >> one of the most fundamental conservative views is that of believing pro-life believing that every life has value and
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worth. that's scientific because you know that biologically life begins at conception. that's irrefutable from a biological standpoint. you can argue the theology of it. you can argue the philosophy of it. you can't argue the biology of the beginning of life >> jon: i don't know that... i mean that's such a loaded... here's why i ask you because i never know who you are. i don't know if you're the nice grandfather who sits... >> i'm a wonderful grandfather jon: and talks to me very respectfully. there was a commercial that you made during the election that troubled me to some extent. >> i hope it's the one i'm thinking about >> jon: it show it for me this november christians across the nation will be put to the test. some issues are not negotiable. the right to life from conception to natural death. marriage should be reinforced, not redefined. it is an egregious violation of our cherished principle of religious liberty. your vote will affect the future
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and be recorded in eternity. this is mike huckabee asking you to join me november 6 and vote based on values that will stand the test of fire. >> jon: okay. i'm glad you brought that one up >> jon: i look at that and i go are you saying that you vote for the democrats you're going to hell? >> no. jon: it sure looked like hell. i'm going to hell anyway. i'm a jew. i already know where i'm going. my point is, can you understand how you can watch and if i disagree with you about gay marriage i'm going to hell? >> if they're biblically ill literal they would. 1 corinthians 10 the whole metaphor of the christian gospel. seriously, whole metaphor is about that your works are tested by fire. that biblical passage is one that every believer, every new testament believer is going to understand what that means. i heard people on television
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say, oh, mike huckabee saying if you don't vote for mitt romney you're going to hell. never said that. never said romney. never said obama. >> jon: there's a pretty good connection between that and hell >> no there's not. 1 corinthians chapter 10, read it jon. it talks about that our works are put through the test of fire just like you would put metal in the forge and that's what was the imagery >> jon: but you narrowed your works to two things: pro-life and antigay marriage. >> not antigay marriage. there's a difference between anti-something and if you're for something >> jon: what are you for marriage is a biblical model jon: the biblical model is polygamy. >> no, jon. adam and eve. polygamy came much later than that and later was repudiated >> jon: the people in the bible redefined >> jesus said a shall leave his
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mother and father and the woman will leave her home and the two shall become one >> jon: isn't it the height of man's arrogance to presume what jesus would vote for down the line as a value? this is my point. we can come on and have a conversation. when i see that and i go mike huckabee doesn't just disagree witme. he believes my position that gay people are members of the species and whoever they love marriage strengthens traditional families because gay families are wonderful families raising wonderful kids. that's a value... and the value of them is not their gayness. marriage is about honest, trust worthy people working in a loving household, having nothing to do with what their sexuality is. how can you say that me believing that is registered in the book of fire? >> it's not the book of fire. jon: the anvil of fire with the fire guy >> i'm going to have to teach you what it is to go a black smith's shop and how you creat
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create... >> jon: all you were saying is this is going to be in a metal book? >> no. jon, the point of all of this is it is a message to christian believers, saying to them that your vote can't be separated from your faith. all of our works are going to be tested by fire >> jon: let me ask you this. what if they voted for someone that they felt wasn't good for poverty or good for programs for the poor, will that be recorded in the same way as the gay marriage? >> every vote is going to be jon: where is that commercial? >> we only have 60 seconds. snop do you get at some level where my dissatisfaction is coming from? >> no, i never will understand your dissatisfaction, jon. >> jon: on the book shelves now. buy the book. mike huckabee.
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